spastasmagoria:

theclearlydope:

Me on the phone: Yeah I’m going to be late to work today.

Supervisor: Why?

Me: There’s a cat gang bang happening on top of my car.

Supervisor: (silence)

Supervisor: Well can’t you break it up?

Me: Who am I to break up a cat gang bang? They’ve probably been organizing it for days on Craigslist.

Supervisor: Good point. See you when you get here.

WHAT THE ACTUAL————I can’t. I can’t even can. I have lost the ability to can. 

Imma just leave this here..

(via p-dubbby)